Maggie Gyllenhall’s directorial debut The Lost Daughter, adaptation of Elena Ferrante’s novel by the same name is an unorthodox portrayal of motherhood that tries to portray the complications of reconciling the self with the mother by exploring the psychology of its protagonist Leda.

In the final scene of the movie when Leda is bleeding from a navel wound as a result of a confrontation with Nina the passionate and warm conversation with her daughters over a phone call completes the cycle of the intimate generational connection between mothers and their daughters since motherhood as a practice is learnt to a significant degree by our own experiences of being mothered. 

The symbolism of the navel connects this truth on a physical level by signifying that the bond between a mother and her children, specially the daughters is one that is bound through an everlasting chain, the ripples of which are felt by subsequent generations in their own unique ways. That although ‘none of it passes away’, the pain itself adds to the beauty of these relationships.

The complexity and humility of Leda’s character is not only in her self-awareness but also the courage to allow herself to be all those parts of her self that are by default scornful. Her position as a voyeur who I believe was initially, jealous of Nina’s peaceful relationship with her daughter in contrast to her own, to masochistically enjoying the as it unravels when she takes away the doll, shows her the strength of her character through her vulnerability.

The movie made me think firstly of how my own mother had to give up her career as a teacher to have me at an age she was not prepared to be a mother. Her experiences of gradual acceptance as she tells me of her responsibilities and a compromised self for the lack of a better support system was complemented by the little joys she found in raising me. 

It made me think of my own position as a scholar and a woman in a society where motherhood is seen as the destiny of a woman- it was scary to say the least to think of going through what Leda or Nina or my own mother went through- enough to make me understand that it must be and should allowed to be a conscious choice for every woman who must then be supported collectively because motherhood is a tremendous social responsibility.

The recurring theme of absent fathers for highlighting the challenges of motherhood is one I found particularly interesting given that nothing catastrophic happens when the father decides to not participate in bringing up the children. Women on the other hand are not only criticised by the society when they try doing so but also that the internalisation of their role as mothers puts them through agonising guilt as suffered by Leda. 

The movie depicts both her and her husband as scholars which makes it challenging to engage with the children as much as they would want to. Although Leda tries hard she is beyond exhausted in taking care of the children. The monotony of life especially the endless cycle of work if you are a working woman on top of it, makes Leda and many women like her to seek excitement and adventure as an exercise to revitalize and come back sense of self- mother child bond being particularly intimate blurs this distinction especially in the early years. When Leda tries to recover the loss of her self, she is crushed by the sense of losing her daughters especially the elder one- Bianca.

The scene that depicts young Leda’s decision to move away from her daughters for a brief period was empowering to watch personally specially because it makes the husband realise how difficult it would be for him to raise them without her when she had been doing the same all along. His final threat to prevent her from leaving is his decision to leave the girls with Leda’s mother as a consequence of her decision, triggers Leda visibly who responds that she would not want her daughters to be in an environment that was traumatic to her self. Leda’s relationship with her daughters and motherhood in general could perhaps be a reflection of her experiences as a daughter.